Was chatting with Serene on msn. She's my Ex-Gf.. Didn't see or chat with her for quite a long period. While talking with her, past memories started flooded in... HmmMm... Is so funny.. Come to think of it.. This what happen between me and her..
Got to know her thru a friend of mine. She one of my buddy ex-gf too. The very first time i got to know this person was at Kaixin house. We was playing mahjong over there, when she come over with my buddy to look for us. But we didn't talk much..
When we was having some kind of lion dance performance, some where at Tiong Bahru. That was the second time i saw her. And that was when we really started talking. It all started with fiddling of each others mobile. I was using Nokia 8210, where i use to collect picture message. Especially message of " La Pi Xiao Shin "(Crayon Shin).. We was exchanging picture message, and that was how i got to know her number. Soon, she wasn't with my buddy anymore, think it lasted less then a month or so.
One fine day, while i was scrolling thru my mobile, some unfamiliar number caught my eyes. Was scratching my head, trying to recall who's number it was. Decided to send a sms over to get it verified.. Is was then we started messaging each other..
During these period we keep messaging each other, chat on the fone. There was once, she came to meet me for breakfast at Bedok reservoir.. At that point of time i was at Kaixin house playing mahjong till morning. Still can recall what clothes she was wearing.. A white tee with big hole on the right side and jean..
Feeling started to develope between us. I tell my buddy(her ex-bf) about it, telling him if he mind about me going after her. He was alright with it. I voice out my feeling for her, asking for a chance to be together. She want to think about it. As there other who's going after her too. But some how she ain't sure what she want. I try sever times, but i could not get a answer for it.. Was kind of sad about it. Telling myself this will be the last time i would ask her, to be with her.
Kaixin was celebrating her birthday at her house, all was invited including her. I wasn't feelling quite well that day, was down with a headache. I was there from 7pm, if i'm not wrong. She came late due to work. That day, we didn't get to talk... Silence was between me and her.. Some one suggest to get down with playing Blackjack. I choose to head to Kai Li(Kaixin younger sister) room to rest. She was leaving soon, but before she left i saw her outside the door where i was in. She came to have a look and left the place. When she was making her way off, she sms me.
Serene: Wei.. Dao ar? Don't want to talk to me uh? Anyway i'm on my way home.
Qing: No... Just ain't feeling well.. I'm having a headache.
Serene: Izzit? You Ok? Took any panadol?
Qing: Alright.. Nope. I'll be ok later on, after some rest.
Serene: You sure?
Qing: Yah..
Was messaging here and there, till i decided to call her up. As i was too lazy to continue smsing.. Was on the phone with her chatting, when i decide to give it a last shot.
Qing: I got a question to ask you. This will be the last time i'm asking about it.
Qing: Would you give a chance to be with you?
Serene: * Silence *
Qing: Uh?
Serene: Don't know...
Qing: .....
Qing: Nevermind then.. treat that i didn't ask before.
Serene: Orh~
Continued to chat on the phone.. But i was really in the mood to continued, keeping mum thru out.. Think she know about it.. Hence she ask why i'm so moody? Then she ask me to ask her the question again if i really want to know the answer.. Thinking that, this might be the chance.. I pop the question.. Guess what?
She agreed to it...
* Yeah *
* Hopping Around *
That day, was when we got together.. Everything seem to happen in Kaixin House.. Times with her was fun, I enjoyed her company. There time where we might be very loving, there's also time when we are in arguement.. We spend our Lunar New Year together.. Soon i was enlisted to the Army. I forbidded her to send me off, but she came to visit me in my camp during Parent Visiting Day... I felt like hugging her the moment i saw her, but due to instruction passed down, i'm isn't suppose to do that when one's is in his uniform.. When time has ended for that day, my feeling was emotional. Seeing her leaving off really make me felt like tearing.. I only can see her one week later..
My very first book out, she came and look for me. Where we go for dinner with my family.. I injured my ankle during fourth week, need to go for medical appointment often. There was once she came down to look for me at Alexanda Hospital when she working halfway(she working at Paya Lebar). But due to stress in the army, i was very bad temper.. Used to raise my voice at her, using harsh words. But she always keeping mum when i was on my temper.. Giving her cold shoulder, attitude and stuffz.
Whenever we quarrel, she will give in to me. There was once we was quarreling(i started it), raising my voice, sacarstic remarks, harsh words was coming out of my mouth.. But during the conversation, i was coughing badly.. I even hang up on her that day. But an hour later, i found her outside my door(was at home due to MC). With a bottle of herbal tea.. Goodness.. Can't u image? After what i did to her, she still come around giving herbal tea halfway thru her job. Head back to work straight after passing me the drink.. Come to think of how i treat her, i felt kind of ashamed of myself.. Treating her like shit, but she still care as like nothing is happening.. I'm a bastard.. I need to admit to it..
All this came to end during one of our quarrel.. Was very shocked when she suggested to break up.. I agreed to it, thinking it will be fine after a few days. Ask for a patch back, but was rejected.. Was damn low during that period of time. Crying alone at home, thinking of her. It was then i realise i was over doing it.. I take her for granted.. But all this was too late.. There no way for me to turn back.. Only to accept the fact of breaking up..
She a nice girl, showering me with care, concern and love.. She some one who really stand a place in my heart.. Always want to be with her again.. But maybe i don't deserve a girl like her, with the way i treated her in the past.. She make changes in me...
Heard from other she was attached to a guy, whom treat her well.. Was glad to know about it. Is fate! Some how, love entwines us once more. But for a very short period of time.. There some reason why we got seperated.. But i not going to say it out here.
Once awhile she will appear in my mind.. But i just ain't know what i should do.. Since it was in the past.. And she happily leading her life with her bf.. Maybe all this shall remain as memories in my heart, shall kept it with me thru out my life.. I give her my blessing...
One Of The Only Two Foto We Took..PS: If u happen to read this... Please don't keep things all to yourself. Saying it out will make u feel better.. Don't take Felix for granted.. Don't make regret in life like i did.. He a guy not to be missed, whom loved you more then anyone else.. Take care uh.. Drink more water, u tend to get ulcer easily.. And don't over work yourself..
